It’s Not What You Think And More Important Than You Thought

Defining Self-Love And Debunking The Myths

As I’ve been writing about self-love on Medium, I’ve been refining a program on how to use self-love to heal ourselves, and how that work can change one’s life and legacy. The writing I do and the program I’m creating have become an important, symbiotic relationship as I tease out the layers of confusion I find others have on the topic.

I’ve come to this topic from the experience I wrote about in my book The Love Liar: A Memoir of Codependency, Narcissism and the Pursuit of Self-Love. Having explored my life from beginning to now in the context of narcissism and codependency, I’ve developed a perspective on self-love that I find is uniquely valuable to not only help others understand narcissism and codependency, but to use that knowledge to deepen the concept of what it means to love one’s self and why it’s important.

What I’ve found is that self-love is deeply misunderstood, and I believe that the more humans can be open to a different way to think about self-love, their lives will become more peaceful and more joyous, their relationships more rich and full, and their contribution to humanity much more effective.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers you have within yourself that you have built against it. ~Rumi

A beautiful quote from Rumi, and such a simple concept. “Find all the barriers within…